Purple Lightning
by DopplerGirl
Summary: "So, are we gonna get married or what?" ZXC. One shot.


_here is the deepest secret nobody knows _  
_(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud _  
_and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows _  
_higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) _  
_and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart _

_i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)_

_-E.E. Cummings_

* * *

"So are we going to get married or what?"

Cammie Morgan looks up from her copy of _Wuthering Heights _to glance at her longterm boyfriend inquisitively. "Excuse me?"

Zach sighs, prying his eyes away from the football game on television long enough to pull a small object out of his pocket and toss it at her. The book falls into Cammie's lap as she catches the black velvet box and freezes.

"I said," Zach drawls as he turned his attention back to the TV. "Are we going to get married or what?"

Cammie made a strange choking noise in the back of her throat, which sounded absurd coming from a woman who was normally so controlled. A shaking hand opens the box to see a small diamond ring with a silver band nestled in a cushion.

Her mouth falls open. Zach cheers as his team's defense makes a good tackle.

"Are you- are you _proposing?"_ Cammie whispers as the oxygen finally returned to her lungs.

"Yup." His said, popping the p. "I'll take that as a yes?"

She shakes her head as she stands and walks over to the cabinet, grabbing a cup and a bottle of whiskey. Zach shoos her out of the way when she walks in front of the television.

By the time her glass is poured, her face resembles a bright tomato. She drains her the whiskey. Takes a swig from the bottle. Whips her mouth. And then promptly walks over and stands in front of the TV.

"Cammie, what the hell?" Zach complains as she blocks his view of the game

"You wanna get married." She states, fingering the ring in her hand.

"Uh-huh."

"You wanna get married _to me?"_

His tries to crane his neck to see around her body. "Duh."

"This is your oh-so-brilliant way of asking your high school sweetheart to marry you?" Zach sighs and looks at her, unaware of the anger clouding her eyes.

"Was that not clear?"

Cammie's nose twitches. Her hand clenches. She takes a deep breath.

"Of _course _it wasn't fucking clear!" She screeches, exploding into a rage in an instant. He flinches as she throws the ring at him. "What, am I just supposed to realize that my boyfriend, the spy, the _fucking mind reader, _is so stupid- so _ignorant _to think that this is an okay way to propose to a girl. I mean, _damn _Zach, do you know a single fucking thing about romance?"

"I- I'm sorry." Zach stammered, probably for the first time in his life. "I didn't think-"

"_Obviously _you didn't think. If you'd thought for a second that I wouldn't want rose petals, a nice restaurant and a goddamn string quartet playing _Isn't She Lovely_ while I'm in a gorgeous dress and you're on your knees like every other girl on this planet, you didn't think. Did you even consider marrying me, or did you just see the ring at the mall and decide to _just go with it." _She scowls at the guilty look on his face. "You know. On second though, don't answer that question."

Cammie shuts off the TV and walks over to the sink, putting water in a kettle angrily. Zach runs a hand through his hair agitated. "So what do you want me to do."

"Oh, I'll tell you what the fuck you're going to do. YOU are gonna plan out everything I just said. Roses. Restaurant. String Quartet. Everything. And make sure Macey dresses me up." She places the kettle on the stove and turns back to him. "And I am going to drink some forgetful tea, and forget that you were ever this stupid. We're going to have a nice romantic dinner next Sunday, and then you will get on your damn knees and _beg _me to marry you. And it better be good because if I remember what the hell happened here tonight, you're a dead man."

Zach looked like he'd forgotten how to use his brain. "Now get the hell out of here." Cammie said, jamming her thumb towards their apartment door. "Come back later. That tea won't kick in for another hour, and I'm still debating whether it just be easier just to kill you."

He nodded mutely, placing the ring back in the box before standing up and walking to the door as if on autopilot.

"Oh, and Zach." She calls just after her opened the he stepped over the threshold. He turns around only to have her slam her lips upon his.

The kiss was slow and sweet, completely devoid of the anger he'd just had thrown at him. It was the kind of kiss that made your brains melt and your toes curl and helped you realize that oxygen was overrated.

Cammie let him go and smiled, her brown eyes shining with humor and affection and something else. "That's a yes."

And the door slammed in his face.

Zach leaned against the door. Took a deep breath. Then two. A smile creeps onto his lips.

He had a fiancé to propose to.

* * *

**I feel like I should apologize for possibly killing your image of a completely romantic Zach. But, I mean, c'mon he was raised by a terrorist and than lived in a detention center. It just always felt like he's completely ignorant to customs the rest of us got down, like overdone proposals. I mean, its not like he got to see how Monica proposed to Chandler, or how Barney proposed to Robin, like the rest of us did. Plust, Cammie said it herself in the 4th book, it's not like Blackthorne had its own Madame Dabney. I just feel like this is how it'd turn out. The point of this rant is that Zach sucks as romance and that I watch too much television.**

**-Sarah**


End file.
